


Vulcan Love Poetry

by Leloi



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Dream Sex, F/M, M/M, Mind Meld, Pon Farr, T'hy'la, bondmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-17
Updated: 2013-09-17
Packaged: 2017-12-26 21:24:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/970448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leloi/pseuds/Leloi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Admiral James T Kirk is rescued from the Nexus.  It seems his connection with Ambassador Spock strengthens a weak bond in their younger counterparts.  But Spock is with Uhura.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vulcan Love Poetry

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for character death are all canon as seen in "Generations", "Wrath of Khan" and "Into Darkness."
> 
> Mentions of survival cannibalism and prostitution.

“It was… Fun!” Admiral Kirk almost chuckled. The effort caused something inside his chest to burst. In the back of his mind he could feel the bond begin to break as his life slipped away. Spock would be devastated by the loss. “Oh my…” Darkness engulfed him and he saw no more.

^.~

Admiral Kirk stood before the cabin door, holding a breakfast tray. Had his death been an illusion? Already memories of Captain Picard of Enterprise D were beginning to fade. 

At the back of his mind he could feel his bond, still whole. Somewhere out there Spock waited for him to return home so they could retire together. “Spock?” It seemed for a moment he had forgotten Spock. Opening the bedroom door, he stepped through.

^.~

On New Vulcan Ambassador Spock cried out and clutched his head, feeling something he thought long dead return to life. 

^.~

Commander Spock blinked several times at the older man on the transporter pad. “Captain… Transporters have picked up a guest.”

“I’ll be right there, Spock.” Captain Kirk replied through the speaker.

“Spock?” The older man turned around to stare at the young Vulcan. Crossing the transporter room he stopped a mere foot away, standing within Spock’s personal boundaries. “You look so young…”

At that moment Captain Kirk entered the transporter room, taking in the older man standing too close to his first officer. “Welcome aboard the Enterprise. I am Captain Kirk. This is my first officer, Spock.”

The man stared at Kirk critically for a moment, shaking his head. “I was never so young…”

“We found your life sign in an anomaly…” 

“The Nexus.”

“Nexus?” Kirk cocked his head to the side.

“A temporal energy ribbon… So this means I was brought to… the past?”

“The past?” Kirk shook his head. “Who are you?” Of course he knew from the meld, but the one who stood before him hadn’t aged a day. Surely there would be some hint of almost 95 years on a human?

The man straightened up. “I am Admiral James Tiberius Kirk.”

Spock blinked and looked at his captain. “He is like my alternate… from an alternate future.”

“Your alternate? Spock is here? My Spock?”

The Vulcan flushed slightly, his ear tips turned a shade of green. “I do not believe you can claim ownership of a Vulcan.”

Admiral Kirk waved the remark away. “Is there another Spock here?”

“Ambassador Spock lives on New Vulcan.” Captain Kirk replied helpfully.

“New Vulcan? What happened to the old one?”

“Long story…” Captain Kirk indicated the door. 

All three stepped out and headed back towards the bridge. As they entered Kirk made a beeline for his ready room. “Uhura, please patch us through to our friend on New Vulcan… in my ready room.”

“Yes, sir.” Uhura replied but paused when she saw the admiral. “Sir?”

Kirk stopped and smiled at Uhura. “He’s my copy.”

“Of course…” Uhura shivered at the thought of two Jim Kirks but made the connection.

Elder Spock’s face appeared on the screen. “Jim…”

“Hey there, Old Spock… Guess who we picked up?” The captain stepped away from the screen and pushed his older counterpart into the field of view.

“Jim…” Ambassador Spock’s voice broke.

“Spock…” Admiral Kirk’s voice was breathless.

Captain Kirk blushed and looked away, aware that he was witnessing something very private.

“I felt your return…” Elder Spock whispered. 

“How long was I gone?” The admiral asked.

“Too long.” 

The admiral chuckled softly. “No precise measurement?”

“Ninety four years.”

The admiral paled and frowned. “Spock… Spock I’m so sorry…”

“So…” Kirk stepped into the conversation. “I don’t know the protocol on this sort of thing… should we contact someone? Should we drop him off somewhere? I don’t know what to do with… myself.” Kirk grinned at the phrase. 

“I am currently living on New Vulcan…” Old Spock started.

“Yeah… why is it called New Vulcan?” The admiral cut in.

“That is a long story, Jim…” The ambassador looked sad.

“That’s what my younger self said.” The admiral glanced at the captain.

“Shall I drop you off… with him?” Kirk breathed. Already he knew the answer… had seen what sort of relationship they had through the meld. 

Admiral Kirk grinned and gave a fond look to his Spock. “Do you mind?”

“Of course not, old friend. I would be delighted. All I have is yours, you know that.”

“Well then…” Kirk clapped his hands together to get all of their attention. “I guess we have some paperwork to file if we want to make a stop at New Vulcan.”

“Do not rush on my account… I can use the time to prepare for his homecoming.” Elder Spock stated, causing both Kirks to blush slightly.

“Captain… our mission…” Spock reminded the assembled.

“We can drop off the admiral after our mission. If you don’t mind?” Kirk directed his last question to the admiral.

“It will be fun!” Admiral Kirk grinned. Returning his attention to the screen he softened his smile. Something complicated passed through his eyes. “I’ll be home soon, Spock.”

“Be safe…” Elder Spock whispered with a hint of fear in his voice.

“I have a younger version of you to take care of me.” The grin returned to the admiral’s face, teasing. 

“Do not do anything… reckless.”

“Who? Me?” Admiral Kirk reached out and lightly touched the screen with his first two fingers. “Until then, my friend…”

The Elder Spock reached out to his own screen and then the transmission ended.

Captain Kirk stood for a moment, feeling he had just watched something very private. It sent warm shivers down his spine as he glanced at his own Spock to see if the Vulcan felt the same.

Commander Spock looked confused. 

With a deep breath, Kirk turned to his counterpart. “So… I suppose I should assign you some quarters. You’ll be with us for a while.”

“Yes… that would be fine.” The admiral gave his counterpart a wistful smile.

^.~

“So… how long have you been with your Spock?” Kirk asked casually as he sat in his counterpart’s quarters.

“How do you know we are together?” The other man asked.

“He melded with me… I saw a lot of memories with you in them… including some very private moments.”

“We served together for 28 years… ‘Together’ for eight of those years… How about you?”

“I met both Spocks only three years ago.” 

“Three years… How many years are you into your mission?”

“One.”

“So you met both Spocks two years before the mission?”

“I was still in the academy. My Spock accused me of cheating and then… all hell broke loose. I stowed away on the Enterprise on the way to Vulcan… My Spock left me marooned on Delta Vega for interfering with his ship… that’s where I met your Spock. He got me back on the Enterprise in time to save a few Vulcans before their planet was destroyed…”

“Vulcan was destroyed?!” The admiral looked surprised. 

“Yeah… Spock… your Spock was trying to save the Romulan home world and he arrived too late. The black hole sucked in some Romulan survivors and your Spock. He arrived in this universe twenty five years after they did. They were angry at him for not saving their planet so they destroyed this universe’s Vulcan.” Kirk shook his head. “That’s the basic gist of it. I can get you the reports so you can read up on it… but the day I met my Spock is the same day I met your Spock.” 

“I’ve known many Vulcans… they must be… devastated.”

“Yeah… Spock doesn’t really talk about it… at least not to me. He tells Uhura more.”

“Why Uhura?”

“They’re a couple.” 

The admiral set his drink down and stared at his counterpart. 

Kirk shook his head. “You know your Spock gives me the same look… it’s no big deal.” Making a face, the younger man shrugged. “They’ve been together like… five years or something like that…”

“So… um… Earth? How is it?”

“Fine… I guess. I don’t really have ties there.”

“Your parents…?”

“My father died on the Kelvin the day the Romulans came through. I was born in an escape shuttle moments before he died. Mom never recovered… She left me with my step father until he grew tired of me… sent me to my aunt and uncle on Tarsus IV. They died there. After the rescue ships came I was sent back to Earth. I… worked for a while in a garage until I figured out selling myself got me more money. I could pay for a small apartment and alcohol… until Christopher Pike found me and sent me to Starfleet. He told me I was wasting my father’s sacrifice.” Kirk took a deep swallow of his drink.

“You’re alone…”

Kirk shrugged. “Always have been…”

“I’ve never been alone.” The admiral whispered, frowning at his glass.

“Divergent time lines… gotta love ‘em!” Kirk raised his glass and downed the contents. “I also noticed your eyes are a different color.”

The admiral squinted as he looked at his younger counterpart’s face. “Blue… like dad’s.” 

“I’m often compared to our father… who made the ultimate sacrifice!” Kirk raised his empty glass. “I even died! It wasn’t permanent… Khan’s blood saved me.”

“Khan? You’ve met Khan already?”

“He was… a weapon. He took out a lot of higher ups. Turns out one of our higher ups woke him up and threatening to kill his crew if he didn’t cooperate. He’s asleep now… along with his crew. But they took some of his blood to bring me back from the dead.”

“How did you die?”

“Engine core… radiation.”

“In my timeline that’s how Spock died.”

“Spock was there… he watched me die. I think I saw him cry. I may have been delirious at that point. Do Vulcans cry?”

“Spock does.” The admiral sighed and poured more alcohol into their glasses. 

Kirk took a swig. “That’s damn good stuff… I knew Bones had some good stuff tucked away…”

“We won’t tell him…” The other man grinned and drank from his own glass. “Good ol’ Bones… always has the good stuff no matter what timeline or universe…”

“I thought he was going to pass out… seeing you.” Kirk giggled into his glass. “Damnit, Jim! Now there’s TWO of you?” Offering his best impression of McCoy he broke into more giggles, staring up at the spinning ceiling. “Twenty years? It seems like such a long time to wait…”

“We were friends first… that’s twenty years of working together, living together… flirting. I slowly became aware of his jealousy when I flirted with other people… and yet he was shy when I directed it at him. We were kissing the Vulcan way for many years and I didn’t even know it… I just thought I was holding his hand. Our first human kiss was… after he came back to life. I lost him once… I couldn’t lose him again. It’s been the best eight years of my life! I shared a Pon Farr with him…” The admiral stopped and looked away. “Sorry…”

“Pon Farr?”

“It’s the Vulcan time of mating. I don’t know how old your Spock is… but mine went into Pon Farr when he was 35 Earth years. If your Spock ever gets a little… crazy and un-Spock-like then take my advice and get yourself over to Vulcan or New Vulcan or whatever it is now. Don’t let him fight you on that… if he doesn’t mate he’ll die!”

Kirk shook his head, taking another deep swallow of his drink. “He’s got Uhura. I’m sure they’ll work something out.”

“Pon Farr is a time of marriage. The person he spends his Pon Farr with is his MATE!”

“She seems to know an awful lot…”

“Are you listening to me? Your Spock is going to marry someone else. He won’t be your Spock… he’ll be her Spock.”

Kirk blinked at his counterpart, willing the room to stop spinning. “That’s…” Shaking his head, he got up from the chair. “I have no right… no right to… he’s not really my Spock. I’m… Spockless.” Stumbling his way across the room he went to the door. “I’ve gotta go… Go find… Good night…” And with that he left for his own cabin. 

The hallway wouldn’t stop moving under his feet and he leaned against the wall to keep his balance. When he reached his cabin he threw himself across the hall to catch his door. The door slid open under his touch and he fell to his knees, staring down at a pair of polished black boots. Looking up he realized he went to the wrong door… “Sorry, Spock.”

“You are heavily intoxicated.” Spock stated.

“Found Bones’ stash.” Kirk replied. 

“Do you require assistance to your own quarters?” 

“Yes, please.” 

Spock leaned down and pulled his captain to his feet, guiding him the ten feet to his own door. It hissed open and Spock practically dragged the other man inside and to his bed where he belonged. Filling a glass with water he placed it on the nightstand. “Is there anything else you require?”

“My counterpart is going home to his… mate.”

Spock froze a moment, hands behind his back, unsure how to respond.

“They’ve been together for 28 years… eight of them as a couple.”

“There was a slim possibility that my counterpart was mated to your counterpart… as evidenced by the way he spoke of their relationship.”

“Your counterpart is about 150 years old… does he still have Pon Farr?”

“I beg your pardon?” 

“If so… how has he been managing it these past… 94 years when he thought my counterpart was dead?”

“We do not speak of this to outsiders…”

“Have you spoken of it to Uhura?”

“Captain…”

“The other James Kirk… he told me what happens with Pon Farr… marriage? You have to get married and mate or else you’ll die?”

“The boiling of our blood will drive us insane and we will die.”

“So you’ll marry Uhura to stay alive… and my counterpart will keep his Spock alive… because they are married. I still don’t know how he survived 94 years without his Kirk…”

“Substitutions can be made after a mate dies. My people remarry. My mother… was not my father’s first wife. She will not be his last wife… His biology will require him to take another mate when his Time comes.”

Kirk closed his eyes feeling the room spin out of control. “Oh God…” 

“Rest well…” Spock made a hasty retreat from the cabin while Kirk was distracted by his stomach. 

^.~

Spock smiled for a moment before his Vulcan sensibilities took over. “Jim…” The name was a low, rich growl. “These feelings I have for you… I do not understand them…”

“Embrace them, Spock…” Jim heard himself say. 

Another flicker of amusement and the Vulcan leaned into his human, kissing his lips and stealing his breath. 

Instantly Jim found himself aroused… harder than he had ever been with any female in his life. “Spock…” But Spock seemed older than he remembered him being, the lines beginning to show around his eyes and mouth. “I love you.”

“Ashayam…” Spock whispered, kissing him again. 

“Make love to me?” Jim begged the Vulcan.

“Yes… that is what I want.”

Jim gently pushed the Vulcan down on the bed and kissed him, tasting his mouth and feeling strong hands on his back, running along his spine. “I missed you… I thought I lost you…”

“Never, T’hy’la… we will always be one. Parted but never apart…”

“Marry me, Spock. I won’t lose you again.”

Spock undressed him, touched him and held him. Bodies moved together, trying to bring the other to completion first. No penetration… there was time enough for that later. Jim loved the faces Spock made during coitus… a struggle to control his emotions and yet feel the pleasure. “Jim…” Spock whispered as he ejaculated against Jim’s thigh. Jim lasted several seconds longer, feeling himself against Spock’s hip. At last it was complete and they fell into silence.

“So… will you marry me?”

Spock gave a half smile. “All I have is yours.”

^.~

Kirk woke with tears in his eyes. The cabin wasn’t spinning as much as it had been, but it was enough to make him feel foul of stomach. Getting up he stumbled to the head to vomit into the toilet. Washing his face in the sink he glanced at the other door… the door that led to Spock’s quarters. They shared the head. Spitting out the sour taste from his mouth he turned off the sink and flushed the toilet. What had he been dreaming about? It came from the future… a different Jim Kirk and Spock about to start their physical relationship. The meld did that to him, forcing him to participate in events that never happened in his own lifetime. Belatedly he checked his underwear and found he had ejaculated along with his other self. With annoyance he removed his clothing and tossed it all into the laundry before cleaning himself. 

The door to Spock’s cabin opened.

Kirk stood naked, washcloth in one hand, dick in the other as he blinked back at his first officer.

Spock’s eyes fell down to the remnants of Kirks’ arousal before pulling back up to look him in the eye. “Forgive me… I thought you were finished.”

“I… was just… cleaning up.” Hastily he tossed the washcloth in the laundry. There was nothing to be ashamed of, was there? Kirk used to make a living by selling his body… plenty of people had seen him naked. What was one more? Washing his hands he wiped them on the hand towel. “Well… good night, then.”

“It is 0237 hours.”

“Well then… good morning. What are you doing up so early?”

Spock blinked. “I needed to use the head.”

“Of course… I mean… why else would you be in the head except to use it?” With a nervous laugh he backed out towards his room. “Um… see you in a few hours.” Shutting his side of the door he leaned back against it, hearing the sounds of water and other bathroom noises. Between his legs his cock twitched with interest. “Yeah? Well… Fuck you!” Kirk whispered to his anatomy. Quickly he crawled back into bed and pulled the blanket up over his head.

^.~

Admiral Kirk moved his bishop on the chess board and smiled at the young Vulcan across from him. 

“That is a bold move.” Spock stated.

“That’s how I win.” The admiral replied with a wink and a grin. “Does my counterpart play?”

“We have never played chess.”

“Pity… He could be quite good at it.” 

Spock moved his piece “Check” and waited for the admiral to do the same. 

At that moment Nyota Uhura entered the recreation room and approached the table. Briefly touching her fingers to Spock’s she sat down to observe the game.

“Uhura, you are beautiful no matter what universe you inhabit.” Admiral Kirk greeted with a warm smile as he moved another piece.

“Thank you Admiral Kirk.” 

“The Uhura I know is intelligent, kind… she loves to sing… fantastic linguist… did I mention gorgeous? Time and again I’ve trusted my bridge to her capable hands. Checkmate!” 

Spock frowned at the board. “Your strategy is unpredictable.” 

“That’s why they made me an admiral.” With a chuckle the older human took a sip from his drink. “So… in this reality you two…?”

Uhura smiled at the admiral. “For six years.”

“Six? I heard five… but I think your captain guessed. That’s a long time.”

“We met in advanced linguistics class at the Academy.”

“I could never get my tongue around that…” The admiral chuckled playfully, causing Uhura to blush a little and look away.

“You James Kirks are all alike.”

“How many do you know? I’ve known a few to be less… fun.” The admiral smiled. 

“In your universe are you…?”

“I am married if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I can’t imagine our James Kirk tied down to just one woman.”

“I’ll admit… I’ve enjoyed more than my fair share of the fairer sex… but now… ah… now…” With a glance at Spock he reinforced his smile. “It seems the secret to tying down a James Kirk doesn’t lie with the fairer sex at all.”

Uhura looked unsure. “How do you tie down a James Kirk?”

Admiral Kirk’s eyes fell on Spock a moment too long, feeling the silent plea to not speak of what he was thinking. If James Kirk knew anything, it was how to read a Spock. “Starships. Give him a ship to steer. A James Kirk loves two things in any universe… and one of them is a starship.” 

“What is the other?”

The admiral seemed distracted, staring at Spock. “Poetry.” 

“Poetry?” Uhura looked stunned.

“Yes… Vulcan love poetry…”

“Do Vulcans write love poetry?” Uhura asked Spock quietly.

“Of course they write love poetry.” The admiral chuckled. “Many a ‘thee,’ ‘thou’ and ‘thy.’ Something about katras entwined for an eternity… ‘Ashayam, thy breath revives me…’ It’s all rather exhilarating!” 

Uhura blinked at the admiral, glancing at Spock for a moment before returning her focus to the human again. “Are you… mated to a Vulcan?”

A look of panic crossed Spock’s face. 

Admiral Kirk glanced at Spock for a millisecond before nodding. “Yes.”

“Oh…” Uhura looked unsure of herself. “Who is she?”

The old man broke into a grin. “The most fantastic person I have ever known. My soul mate... my T’hy’la…” 

“Wait… T’hy’la?” Uhura stopped him. “You’re… not talking about a woman…”

“My dear…” Admiral Kirk reached out to take her hands in his. “I am an old, foolish man who has wasted years of my life in searching for something that has been beside me from the beginning. I limited myself to women and I regret missing out on something more profound and wonderful than I ever could have imagined. You’ve had six years… I’ve only had eight because I wasted twenty years before that on frivolities.”

Uhura’s eyes went wide. “We’re going to New Vulcan… you’re going to the other Spock. He’s your… bondmate.” Helplessly she looked between Spock and the admiral as if daring either of them to deny it. “You’re mated to the other Spock.”

Admiral Kirk squeezed her hands and gave her a fond smile. 

“The captain…”

“He knows… he’s known since Delta Vega.”

“You know about Delta Vega?”

“My counterpart is a charming young man… he likes to talk to himself.” 

“But how does the captain know?”

“My Spock melded with him… he accidentally showed him more than he intended.”

“More than…?” Uhura looked more and more upset with the admiral’s words.

“Memories of us together…” Uhura tried to pull away but Admiral Kirk kept them a moment more. “I do not wish to offend you… but it is the truth… you would have found out the moment we arrived. It is kinder to tell you now.” Lightly he kissed her fingertips. “Don’t be angry with him… he had no control over what two lonely men did in a different universe.” 

^.~

Jim cried out in surprise, feeling the double ridges brush against his prostate. His ass up in the air and his knees and palms burning on Vulcan sand, there was little he could do but cry out with each manic thrust. In the background he heard drums and bells, anticipating something. Thankfully Bones had applied enough lube to keep things bearable. 

Spock stopped moving. 

Jim looked back over his shoulder at the feverish Vulcan that held his hips. “Spock?”

Pulling out, Spock forced Jim to roll over and pushed back in. Mindlessly he rutted face to face with his mate in the burnings sands of his home world. “I burn…”

“I know… keep going.” Jim whispered in encouragement. “Just a little more…”

Spock reached up to press his fingers against Jim’s psi points. 

As Jim felt the meld overwhelm him he felt the first orgasm… it would soon be followed by several more before the marriage was considered consummated. 

^.~

Kirk woke up, gasping for air and feeling the residual sting from the heated sand on his back. Sitting up, he looked around his room. The dream had felt so real… the heat of the planet, the stretch in his ass… 

Getting up from the bed he went to the head, knowing he would find another mess in his underwear. Resigned he began to undress and toss his pajamas away. Just as he reached for the washcloth to clean himself off the door to Spock’s side opened. Without comment Kirk continued what he was doing… wetting the washcloth and using it to wipe semen from his body. His peripheral vision told him that Spock remained where he was, watching him clean himself. Casually he squeezed the last bit from the tip before wiping it off. 

“So… any questions about human anatomy?” Kirk teased as he tossed the washcloth away.

“I have noticed a change in your nocturnal habits which seems to correlate with finding the admiral.” 

Kirk nodded in agreement. “I seem to be… having trouble controlling my dreams. I think they are memories from the meld… because it’s not really me involved in them.”

“You are having dreams of a… sexual nature?”

Kirk nodded again and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah… tonight I think it was… Pon Farr? There was hot sand and drums and bells… it felt so real.”

“It is not the meld…” Spock seemed to find a corner of the sink fascinating.

“That’s all it can be… right? Transference?”

“I never melded with my counterpart.”

“What? Are you… dreaming too?”

“My nocturnal habits have also changed since the admiral boarded.”

Kirk shivered. “Do you think your older self would know why…?”

“It is the bond they share. We are essentially the same people. Our minds are attuned to them.”

“That just seems… odd. Surely we are different enough that it can’t transfer over like that. What about identical twins?”

“You melded with my counterpart… a bond may have formed between you. With your counterpart alive their bond may be bleeding over into you.”

“But then how are you able to experience it? I haven’t even touched you!”

“I touched you.”

“When?”

“The day we met. I tried to strangle you… I let go, not because of my father but because I felt something beginning to form between us. I touched you shortly after he melded with you… your mind may have reached out to mine, recognizing that part of him within me.”

“You’re… right. It was his idea to get you angry.” Kirk leaned against the sink, arms folded over his chest, forgetting his naked state. “So… what do we do?”

“They may not be aware.”

“If we tell them it will stop?”

“It is a possibility.”

Kirk rubbed his face with his hands. 

Spock stayed silent, still finding the edge of the counter interesting even though Kirk’s ass rested against it. 

“Alright… well… I guess I should contact New Vulcan…” Pulling himself away from the sink he smiled as his cock twitched with interest. “Good morning…” Casually Kirk returned to his cabin and sat at his desk, punching in the request for a direct line to Ambassador Spock.

“Greetings, old friend.” Elder Spock greeted, somewhat surprised at Kirk’s naked chest.

“Hey, Spock!” Kirk grinned.

“Is there something wrong?” The elder asked.

“Well… um…” Kirk nervously played with the edge of his desk, suddenly feeling shy. “About our meld…”

The elder looked concerned but stayed silent.

“Did we…?”

“Jim?”

“The thing is… I’ve been having really detailed dreams lately about certain things… and so is my Spock. It’s been waking us up. They started the day we picked up your Kirk. We were wondering if maybe… the meld had something to do with it?”

“Forgive me… I did not realize…” Elder Spock looked mortified. 

“But then there’s Spock… my Spock… he’s seeing them too and we don’t know why.”

“Jim… It seems the bond between Spock and Jim is a universal constant.”

“But we haven’t…”

“There is a rare sort of bond… it forms the moment the bonded meet for the first time. Without a touch or a word their minds sync together. Tell me of the first moment you saw your Spock.”

“He accused me of cheating at Kobayashi Maru. I demanded to see my accuser face to face and he stood up in a crowd of cadets.”

“And what did you notice about that moment?”

Kirk shook his head. “I wanted to… punch him in the face and kiss him all at the same time.”

Elder Spock chuckled softly. “I suppose it can be described that way…”

“What is it?”

“In the time before Surak my people were warriors. Sometimes in the heat of battle two soldiers would come face to face and instead of killing each other they would mate. For my people mating has always been linked with fighting. Our time of Pon Farr brings on aggression that used to be found on the battlefield. Perhaps too these warriors recognizing their mate on the field was the earliest form of our binding. What you experienced is a very old way of my people…”

“So… I didn’t get it from you?”

“No… it was already there when I melded with you.”

“Shit…” Kirk rested his face in his hands. 

“Jim…”

“He’s with someone else…”

“My Jim was with many other people before we married. The bond will not break until death. It is possible to maintain a healthy platonic relationship with your bonded even if they marry another.”

“But I don’t want to…” Kirk sighed. “This is Spock we’re talking about here… he’ll get married and that will be it for him.” 

“Jim… I married other people before and after I married my Jim. Vulcan biology requires marriage to survive Pon Farr. Your bond with Spock will outlast anything either of you do. It is for life. Your katra are connected.”

“Does this bond have a name?”

“T’hy’la.”

^.~

“Captain?” Spock looked younger than he normally did in the dreams… younger, more vulnerable. 

Jim reached out and touched the Vulcan’s chest, sliding his hand down to find Spock’s fluttering heart beat against the ribs at his side. “Are you scared?”

“No. Why, should I be? Fear is illogical.” Spock asked, raising his chin just a little in defiance.

“No reason…” Jim mused as he took the Vulcan’s lips, forcing his tongue in to taste the other man. “Do you want me?”

“Yes, T’hy’la…” Spock replied between kisses.

“Say it…”

“I want you…”

“Since when?” Jim teased, pulling away Spock’s shirts.

“From the moment I saw you bite into that apple… I wanted to be that apple.” 

“Apple?” The memories were confusing. What point was this in the sequence?

“Kobayashi Maru… you cheated…” Spock replied, pulling off Jim’s shirts. In that moment the Kobayashi Maru simulator appeared around them. 

Jim sat in the captain’s chair with an apple in his hand with Spock standing before him. “This… never happened like this…”

Spock pulled the apple from Jim’s hand, tossed it aside and opened his own trousers. 

Jim blinked down at the double ridged cock in his face. Casually he licked it… the flavor so much different than his past clients. 

“Suck it… cheater.” Spock whispered with a hint of hunger in his voice. 

Obediently Jim opened his mouth and slowly took the length to the hilt, pleased that it didn’t make him gag.

Somewhere off to the side another Jim Kirk appeared on his knees, gagging and retching around one of his first blow job experiences. 

“Swallow and I’ll give you an extra 20 credits…” The client said with a sickeningly sweet voice.

Spock pulled away and stared in horror at the memory that played out beside them complete with Jim desperately trying to swallow but only succeeding in vomiting on the client’s shoes. “What was that?”

“Earther, Earther…” Some unseen children chanted.

“Bad customer…” Jim replied with a sigh. “He never paid me for my services… I went hungry that night… Why do I hear children?”

The scene shifted and they stood at assembly the day of Jim’s disciplinary hearing. Jim turned around to see Spock staring back at him. The rest of the students were frozen in time. “I don’t know if I want to hit you or fuck you…”

Gary Mitchell stepped up behind Jim, giving him a hungry look. “You’re a whore, Jimmy… why would he want you?”

Jim turned to stare at Gary, blinking. “What?”

“A whore… a prostitute… what person hasn’t had you? Look at that Vulcan… so clean and pure and you’re filthy. He thinks he’s better than you because he is.” 

“Earther, Earther… tainted blood!” The children chanted.

“It was the only way… to survive. I had to… Gary.”

Spock stepped closer to Jim, staring at one of Jim’s demons while hearing his own demons mock him. “I said… I accuse you of cheating, Cadet.”

Spock’s tone drew Jim’s attention away from Gary. “I… I am nothing compared to you…”

Young Vulcans surrounded them chanting. “Earther, Earther!”

“Fight…” Spock hissed. “Do not listen to this man… fight for what you want. You are stronger than what he implies. You survived.”

“I…” Uncertainty passed through Jim’s eyes as he reflected on Spock’s words. 

“You survived and became strong.”

“I survived…” Jim echoed. “I did what I had to do to survive.”

“Fight me, T’hy’la…”

Jim blinked and then pulled back his fist to punch Spock in the face.

Spock easily caught the fist and then the scene shifted so they stood on the bridge of the Enterprise. Spock had Jim against the controls, hand wrapped around his neck. “I feel you in the back of my mind… I feel you…”

Jim couldn’t breathe and his hands uselessly held Spock’s wrist feeling the hunger and anger emanating from the Vulcan. 

“Who are you that you can so easily slide behind my barriers? WHO are you?”

“T’hy’la!” Jim gasped out.

Immediately the room changed into a fiery inferno. Spock stood with his arms open as if welcoming the flames. “Take me… take me home. I am not afraid…”

Jim stepped up behind Spock and wrapped his arms around Spock’s torso. “We need you… I need you.” The Vulcan seemed to lean back into him. “Spock… Please don’t give up on me.”

They were standing face to face in Christopher Pike’s office. “What?” Spock demanded.

“I’m separating you two…” Pike stated from where he sat at his desk.

“You can’t! I… I need him.” Jim gave Spock a hurt look. “We need more time! Our connection isn’t strong enough… Please, T’hy’la… Don’t let then tear us apart.”

The scene changed again and Jim found himself watching Spock on his knees, rocking a dead version of himself. It was a crude approximating in what Amanda had done for him as a child… the Vulcan unused to holding someone in comfort. “Please… please don’t leave me… T’hy’la… please… It HURTS! I cannot do this alone!” 

Jim stood off to the side watching Spock cradle his double and sob in agony. The door to the engine core was still sealed and through the glass he could see another body, dead. Kneeling down beside Spock he lightly touched the Vulcan’s shoulder. “Let go.”

“No! I cannot let go!” Spock cried out, sobbing into the dead Jim’s chest. “It HURTS! My mind is being ripped apart!”

Jim tried his best to comfort the Vulcan. “It’s alright Spock… I’m here. I’m right here.” 

“Do not leave me…”

“I won’t.”

Finally Spock turned to look at him, eyes rimmed with tears. “Parted but never apart.” 

“What?” Jim noticed both of his dead bodies were gone. 

Spock reached out to press his fingers against Jim’s psi points. “Come back to me, T’hy’la. I need you… come back.” There was a flash of light.

Jim blinked and found them in the hospital. Spock stood over him with his hands behind his back.

“Jim! You’re awake!” McCoy looked elated to see him. “Don’t ever do anything like that again or I swear I will kill you myself!” 

Jim glanced up at Spock who pretended there wasn’t an emotional display going on beside him. “Spock…”

Spock looked down at Jim and the scene changed again. They stood in silence, facing each other naked. Around them was darkness with a light shining down on them from above. 

Jim pulled up his hand, watching Spock mirror his movements. Their fingers touched and slid against each other. Jim laced their fingers together and stepped closer, resting his head on Spock’s shoulder, feeling the alien’s cool skin against his own. “I’ve been so alone…”

“You will never be alone.” Spock whispered as he wrapped an arm around Jim’s back. “We are one being… one katra.”

“Whore…” Gary whispered from the darkness.

“Earther!” Young Vulcan voices taunted.

Jim wrapped his arms around Spock and held him tight. “Don’t let me go.”

“Never…”

“Spock…” Uhura called from the darkness.

“You’ll leave me behind…” Jim whispered. Turning his head he kissed Spock’s lips. “Don’t leave me.”

“Whore…” Gary’s voice echoed through the darkness. “Unworthy of him…”

“You will never belong…” The children taunted.

“Spock… please?” Jim begged. His forehead was pressed against his companion’s. 

Slowly Spock raised his hand to touch Jim’s psi points as something hummed and strengthened itself at the back of his head. There was a bright flash as something clicked into place inside his brain. 

^.~

Kirk woke up in tears.

^.~

The list of milk run missions quickly dwindled as most of them were diverted to other ships. It seemed that the Vulcans had pulled a few strings to shorten the list and allow them to arrive a month ahead of schedule.

^.~

Kirk woke up with a moan on his lips and his own hand on his dick, pumping it as he writhed on the bed. The dreams had become more mundane for a few days at least… except for the crazy time shifting dream… who knew what THAT was all about. The intensity of this one was a bit surprising. At least his hand shielded his underwear from the resulting mess. Getting up he went into the bathroom to rinse off his hand. As he was about to leave Spock’s side opened. Kirk turned around to see Uhura naked and staring back at him.

“Oh! I’m sorry… Captain.”

Spock stepped up behind Uhura, his nudity shielded by her body. 

Kirk blinked at Spock and then glanced down at his hand. It seemed this time the connection to Elder Spock wasn’t to blame for his wet dream. “Good night…” Quickly he left the head and went straight to bed. 

The couple next door had sex a second time that night and Kirk grit his teeth as he felt the sensations. As his orgasm approached he used a discarded piece of clothing to catch his release in, not bothering to go to the head to clean up.

^.~ 

Only one more milk run mission stood in the way of their returning to New Vulcan. A diplomacy mission called for aid. 

At some point Kirk found himself pressed against a wall with a very pretty female pressed against him, asking for his attention as part of the negotiation process. Briefly he thought about Spock before he took the plunge so to speak. It was nice to have sex with a living, breathing person for once instead of his hand or inside his dreams. His bed partner closed the negotiations and he returned to the Enterprise. 

Spock met his Captain in the transporter room with a frown on his face.

“Report, Mr. Spock?”

“A word in private?” Spock directed him to an empty lab. “You did not inform me that you could feel intimate encounters!” 

“You didn’t ask.”

“The night Uhura found you in the head… you felt what I did with her. It woke you up.”

Kirk shrugged. 

“I have engaged in coitus several times these past few days… have you felt every single instance?”

“Three is several?”

“This is unacceptable!”

“And yet there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“When we arrive on New Vulcan we will have a healer break the bond.”

“Spock… it’s unbreakable.”

“You do not know that!”

“The other Spock told me… it’s a warrior bond…”

“This is not the warrior bond! This is different… I experience your sexual encounters and you experience mine. That is a marriage bond.”

“What?”

“Somehow we have made a marriage bond.”

“So… it’s different than the… the T’hy’la thing?”

“Yes.”

Kirk shook his head. “But… how?”

“I do not know.”

^.~

Admiral Kirk, Captain Kirk and Spock sat in the captain’s quarters, facing the screen.

“This is… unusual.” Elder Spock mused from the screen.

“So it’s not the T’hy’la bond, right? It’s something else?” Kirk asked, looking worried.

“You should not be able to feel your T’hy’la’s encounters unless you married him.” 

“Then oh how you’ll feel them…” Admiral Kirk mused.

Kirk frowned at his counterpart. “But this is… I haven’t even touched him! We haven’t touched… tell them, Spock.”

Spock frowned a moment, staring at the edge of screen in thought. “There was that dream…”

“What dream?” Kirk demanded.

“It did not follow the same format as the other dreams.” Spock responded. “It was not about our counterparts, it was about us.”

Kirk blinked, vaguely remembering the dream. “The one with… Gary?”

Spock blinked and looked at his captain. “At the time I believed it to be just a dream.”

Kirk shook his head and stood up to begin to pace. “You… married me in my sleep?”

“There is a bond already there, it would require very little to strengthen it into a marriage bond.” Spock replied, not watching his captain pace.

Kirk stopped and rubbed his face, feeling the bond in the back of his mind.

“I touched you…” Spock admitted quietly.

Kirk spun around to face him. “When?”

“Doctor McCoy was unsure of the extent of your brain damage from death… I entered your mind to assess the damage.”

“But that shouldn’t do anything… Both Spock and I have done those sorts of things before and we didn’t bond from it.” The admiral replied.

Spock glanced at the older version of his T’hy’la before making eye contact with his captain. “Your mind was floating away. I pulled you towards me.”

“Come back to me, T’hy’la…” Kirk whispered. “You really said that while I was in a coma?”

Spock bowed his head. “It was I… This is my doing. If I had not used it to pull you back…”

“That would not be enough to bind you…” Elder Spock replied. “You did not notice the deeper connection until you recovered my Jim from the Nexus. Your Jim is feeling the connection from me and in turn that was strengthening the weak mating bond you established while attempting to heal him… tell me of the dreams.”

“Vulcans do not dream…” Spock stated.

“Shared vision, then.” Elder Spock amended.

“We were together. I…” Kirk blushed. “There was the Kobayashi Maru and Spock told me he wished to be my apple…”

“I witnessed one of the captain’s experiences as a…” Spock paused, unsure how to tactfully state what he had seen.

“Whore.” Kirk provided. “Before I went to Starfleet Academy I was a prostitute. We also heard children chanting ‘Earther.’”

“Those were taunts from my childhood.” Spock explained. “Then the scene shifted several more times…”

“I saw what you went through when I died.” Kirk blinked up at Spock. “You begged me to stay with you. You asked me to come back and I obeyed.”

“Then we were alone.”

“Naked.” Kirk chuckled softly.

“You were afraid to be alone.”

“I kept hearing voices… But I felt safe with you.”

“I strengthened the bond… to keep you safe.”

The room was silent as three pairs of eyes stared at Spock.

Spock stared at the floor near Kirk’s feet. “I did this.”

“Spock…” Kirk whispered.

“I strengthened the bond enough to create a mating bond. T’Pring is dead… my connection with her was weak but after she died there was a void… a void that needed to be filled. I pulled you into that void the moment I attempted to strangle you on the bridge… both of our minds were open to the connection. I nurtured it and now… now you are my intended.”

Kirk blinked a few times. “Who is T’Pring?”

“Vulcan woman... Spock’s fiancée,” the Admiral supplied helpfully. “She never appreciated Spock, anyway. Secretly she was in love with some guy named Stonn… They planned to get rid of Spock and run away together. Not a very nice person. Pretty, but cruel. I’m glad Spock didn’t marry her.” 

“But it was on the sands of Vulcan after my Kali Farr that I first realized the depth of our connection.” Elder Spock reminded his mate.

“Yes… there’s that. Poor Spock thought he killed me. I was fine.”

“The shock of killing someone I shared a bond with ended my Plak Tow.”

“I don’t recommend it as a means to resolve Pon Farr. The alternative is much more… fun.” Admiral Kirk gave his alternate a lewd wink.

“If this is an unwanted marriage bond then I will have a healer ready when you arrive on New Vulcan next week.” Elder Spock stated. “Until then…” 

“Goodnight, Ashayam.” Admiral Kirk smiled at his bondmate. The screen went blank and the Admiral got up from his chair. “Well… I’m off to bed. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Goodnight.” As he passed Spock on the way to the door he rested his hand on the Vulcan’s shoulder. In the barest whisper only a Vulcan could hear, “He needs you.” The door opened and closed to let him past.

Kirk remained at his desk, oblivious to his counterpart’s advice. “Spock… I am so sorry.”

“You were not at fault. I am to blame.”

Kirk got up to stand before Spock, chewing on his lower lip. “For what it’s worth…” Reaching out he lightly cupped the cool, smooth cheek in his palm. “I would have been honored to be your mate.”

Spock stared back at his captain, the look in his eyes almost unreadable.

Kirk stepped forward and carefully wrapped his arms around Spock’s waist, clutching the wrists behind the Vulcan’s back as his chin rested on the alien’s shoulder. “I know I’m not worthy…”

Spock unclasped his hands and wrapped his arms around Kirk’s back, holding the human close. “You are a great man.”

“But not great enough to be yours…” Kirk whispered. 

Spock opened his mouth to speak but merely inhaled, feeling his T’hy’la’s emotions wash over him. “We will always be one.”

Kirk rubbed his face against Spock’s shoulder before nuzzling against his neck. “It’s not the same…”

“T’hy’la… please…” Spock was unsure where to go with that plea. There was something he couldn’t voice.

Kirk kissed the Vulcan’s throat and then up under his chin. Obediently Spock moved his head this way and that for Kirk to lip and taste. Finally Kirk took Spock’s lips, chastely pressed against them. Cupping Spock’s face in his hands he kissed the mouth again with a little more force, pushing his tongue between dry lips. 

Spock opened his mouth, feeling himself pleasantly invaded. It was similar to what Nyota did with him but this was… different.

Hungrily Kirk took Spock’s mouth, pressing up against him, his fingers carding through the perfect, silky hair. With a final soft kiss Kirk rested once again against Spock’s shoulder. “You’re not mine.”

“We are one…” Spock replied against Kirk’s ear. 

“If we were one you would want what I want.” Kirk replied, annoyed.

“We… are one.” Spock whispered.

Driven purely by some deep lust Kirk reached down and boldly took the hems of Spock’s shirts, pulling them over the Vulcan’s head and tossing them to the floor.

Spock blinked back at Kirk as if the sudden disrobing didn’t faze him.

Kirk pulled off his own shirt and pressed himself against Spock’s chest. They stood in silence for over a minute, neither of them speaking or moving, as if daring the other to respond. After several minutes Kirk lost patience first and undid the zipper to Spock’s trousers, forcing them and the regulation underwear down over the slim hips and thighs.

Spock shivered in the chill of Kirk’s cabin but otherwise didn’t move.

Kirk undid his own trousers and pushed them off along with his underwear before pressing up against Spock.

Spock finally shifted, noticing Kirk’s human genitals and pubic hair brushing against him. Giving as good as he got, he unsheathed his own genitals.

Hesitantly Kirk wrapped his arms back around Spock’s waist, resting his head on the Vulcan’s shoulder. Faced with the reality of what he ached to do he lost his nerve and felt a little foolish pushing himself on the Vulcan. “Spock…” Kirk found himself trembling against the cool skinned alien.

Spock lightly traced Kirk’s spine with his fingertips. “Jim?”

“I want you… but I shouldn’t…”

“At the current time you are my bondmate.”

“Yeah… but… You belong to Uhura.” Chastely kissing Spock’s lips he stepped away.

“Vulcans belong to no one.”

“You’re her boyfriend!”

“I am your husband.”

“Until we get to New Vulcan and the healer breaks our marriage bond!”

“We have 7.34 days before that time.”

“Spock…”

“I will give you one week.”

“What?”

“We have one week so I shall give you that one week.”

“You can’t just…” Kirk began as he sat down on the edge of the bed, beginning to pull up his underwear and trousers.

“One week as your bondmate… as my husband.” Spock knelt on the floor between Kirk’s feet, looking up at him.

Kirk looked away from the mostly naked Vulcan staring up at him. “What about Uhura?”

“Jim… You and I are mated. The damage is done. I cannot be with her when I am mated to you.”

“But you shouldn’t even be with me at all!” Kirk replied.

Spock held up his fingers expectantly.

Kirk touched Spock’s fingers, shivering at the sensation. “We… we can’t… not right now. You have to tell her. I won’t go behind her back.”

Spock pulled his hand away and stood up to pull up his clothes. “Your logic is sound.” After pulling on his shirts and smoothing them he inclined his head. “I will return.”

Kirk sat on the bed, listening as the cabin door opened and closed. This wasn’t going to end well.

^.~

Spock entered the cabin and stood at attention.

Kirk stood up from where he was sitting on his chair, reading. 

“One week.” Spock stated softly, a hint of pain in his voice he couldn’t hide from his T’hy’la.

Kirk went to him, wrapping his arms around his Vulcan. “It’s alright…”

“She cried.”

“You broke her heart. She loves you.” Kirk whispered as he led Spock to the bed and sat him down. “Lay down.”

Spock obeyed, watching Kirk pull off his boots. The room was a little cool for a Vulcan.

Kirk crawled up beside Spock and wrapped an arm around his waist, head on his shoulder. “Goodnight…”

“You do not wish to engage in coitus?” Spock asked the ceiling.

“Spock… you just had a fight with your girlfriend…” Kirk snuggled up against his Vulcan. “I’m not actually the horny asshole people say I am. I’m content with just sleeping beside you. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Spock replied, listening to Kirk’s breathing change as he fell asleep, wrapped around the Vulcan, keeping him warm.

^.~

Day 1

Kirk made faces at the chess board, chin resting on his fists. 

“You have never played chess?”

“When would I have time to play chess?” Kirk replied, shifting his glance to his husband across the table. “It’s interesting… I just don’t know if I have any talent to play it.”

“Your counterpart won when we played.”

“My counterpart had his entire life handed to him on a golden platter!” Kirk replied with a frown. “I had to work… survive… study…”

“That is not what I meant.” Spock moved one of his pieces. “He is proof that you have the aptitude for the game. His approach to the game is the same as your approach to life.”

Kirk sighed and pushed back from the table. “I’m tired.”

“Would you like to try something else?” Spock asked.

“It’s been a long day.” Kirk yawned and got up from the table to stretch before sitting on the bed to take off his boots.

Spock stood and began to undress, his clothes carefully folded.

Kirk stopped undressing and stared up at Spock. “Spock?”

“Yes, Captain?”

Kirk frowned and tossed his trousers away. “My name is James, you know. James, Jim… Jimmy. On some rare occasions when Bones is drunk enough it’s Jimboy. Captain seems a bit formal for someone you’re supposed to be married to… even if it is a quickie marriage.”

“Jim…” Spock amended.

“I wasn’t expecting you to take off all of your clothes.”

“This is what mates do.” Spock set his folded underwear on a pile.

Kirk stayed where he was, still in underwear. “Maybe…” Slipping into the bed he held up the blanket for Spock to crawl in. It took them a few moments to find a comfortable position. Kirk spooned Spock from behind, arm wrapped around him. “If you get cold let me know.”

“Will we engage in coitus?” Spock asked as the light dimmed.

Kirk sighed, hand against Spock’s belly. “Not tonight.”

Spock frowned but did not comment on it.

^.~

Day 3

Spock tapped his foot as he stared at the chess board. 

Kirk paused in his play to glance down at where the Vulcan’s foot beat a rapid staccato in the floor. “You alright?”

“FINE!” Spock growled.

Kirk stared at Spock. “Spock?”

“Will you take your turn?” Spock asked crisply, balling his hands into fists. There was aggression in his eyes.

Kirk sat back in his chair. “You don’t usually tap your foot or snap at me.”

“I find myself… impatient.”

“Why?” Kirk demanded softly.

Spock glared back at his husband. “I do not have to explain my actions to you!”

“I am your husband.” Kirk countered.

“You are a husband who will not engage in coitus with me!”

“We’ve been over this, Spock… I just don’t feel right about going behind Uhura’s back…”

“I have given you one week… we will arrive in four days.”

“Maybe I don’t want one week…” Kirk replied and got up from the table.

“I find your behavior contrary to your feelings. You wish to have intercourse with me and yet you decline. I do not understand your hesitance when we are mates.”

“For ONE week! Sorry I’m not eager to leap into the sack when I know this will all come to a grinding halt as soon as we beam down to New Vulcan.” 

“You of all people should…”

“What? Because I’m a slut? Is that what you’re implying? I should be happy to fuck you because I get this golden opportunity as your husband for one measly WEEK of my life?”

Spock stood. “That is not what I meant!”

“Well then I don’t know what you mean!” Kirk shot back.

Spock reached out and grabbed Kirk’s upper arms, forcing him to sit upon the bed. “You are my mate…” Spock’s breathing was heavy, labored. “This is what we have between us right now… this need… this HUNGER.”

Kirk blinked and pulled back from the intensity on Spock’s face. “Spock?”

Spock closed his eyes and desperately tried to regain control. “I do not know what came over me…”

“Come to bed.” As Spock released Kirk’s arms the human scooted over on the bed. “You’re tired…”

But they both knew Spock wasn’t really tired.

^.~

Day 6

After several days of irritable behavior to the rest of the crew, Spock’s only time of relative control was when he slept beside Kirk. Regret filled them both of what they wouldn’t do.

“I’m sorry…” Kirk whispered, rubbing their fingers together. “I would have loved to make love to you… I just… You’re not really mine. Our bond was a mistake… I can’t let my hormones take control. I have a responsibility to you… to Uhura. She loves you, you know… as much as I do. This wasn’t meant to happen.”

“You have met our counterparts… it seems in some timeline it was meant to happen.” 

“But not in ours…” Kirk bit his lip as his eyes started to sting from tears. “I really love you, T’hy’la… and I want you to be happy.”

“I am content at your side.” Spock drew patterns with his fingertips on the back of Kirk’s hand.

“I bet you’ll be happy to get me out of your head.” Kirk mused as he leaned against his Vulcan.

“Why would I feel happiness for losing a bond I share with you?”

“Well… warrior bonds are one thing… marriage bonds are another. You can have sex again.”

Spock bit his lips and took a deep breath. “A lot sooner than you realize…”

“What?” Kirk stopped caressing Spock’s fingers.

“Please continue.” 

Kirk obeyed, teasing the back of Spock’s hand and his palm with his fingertips. “What do you mean?”

“You will find out tomorrow when we arrive on New Vulcan.”

“Tell me now.”

“I must mate.”

“Yeah?”

“My Pon Farr…”

Kirk stopped moving his fingers. “You’ve started Pon Farr? Is that why you’ve been…? I’m a horrible mate if I can’t even pick up on THAT!” 

“You have picked up on it… what you are doing now… what you have been doing to help me relax… that is part of what a mate does for Pon Farr. Your presence focuses my mind.”

“So when we get to New Vulcan… But will the bond be able to break? If you need me physically your mind is probably not going to let me go.”

Spock caught Kirk’s hand in his own, clutching it. “This marriage bond may have to last longer than the week I anticipated.”

Kirk turned over to face Spock in the bed, staring at him in the darkness. “I’ll have to help you through Pon Farr…”

“We will attempt to break the bond before my Plak Tow sets in… but I fear it already too late for this cycle. I am sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“We will need to go through the ceremony and have intercourse on the sands of New Vulcan.”

“You mean we have to get married… fully.”

Spock swallowed hard and wrapped his arms around Kirk, finding comfort in his body heat. “I am sorry.”

“It will be alright, T’hy’la…” Kirk breathed, running a hand through Spock’s hair. “I just… worry about Uhura. If this gets too strong and we can’t break it… it will hurt her even more…”

^.~

Ambassador Spock smiled as his bondmate and T’hy’la materialized on New Vulcan. Flanking his human were their counterparts, McCoy and Uhura beside them. “Greetings.” With the ta’al he addressed them all.

All but McCoy made the sign back. 

Admiral Kirk separated himself from the group and crossed the distance between them to hug his mate. “I am told I have many years to make up to you…”

“It feels as if you left only yesterday…” The Elder Spock replied, allowing his mate to be as sentimental and emotional as he wished. “You haven’t aged a day.”

“Temporal anomalies…” The admiral replied as he rubbed their fingers together. “I’m afraid you’ve aged, T’hy’la.” 

“This way we can truly live out the rest of our lives together. I will not outlive you again, Ashayam. To the end of my days I am yours.”

The younger versions and their companions shifted uneasily watching the lovers reunite. 

Admiral Kirk leaned into his mate. “I believe your younger counterpart is experiencing his first Time.”

Elder Spock pulled away from his husband to assess his younger self. “Is that true, youngling? Has your Time come?”

Spock blushed and nodded. “I believe so.”

“Then I am afraid the healer will be unable to break the bond at this time.”

Uhura seemed to wilt at the news. 

“Forgive me, my dear…” Elder Spock took Uhura’s hand. “I know this grieves you. We will try and break the bond after Pon Farr has passed.”

Uhura stared back at the older version of her boyfriend and then at Spock and Kirk. “He needs this or else he’ll die… correct?”

“Yes.”

“Take care of him… please?” Uhura whispered to Kirk.

“I’ll do my best.” Kirk answered. 

“Are you prepared for your role?” Elder Spock asked Kirk.

“Yeah… I brought Bones. He can help me get… physically prepared.”

“Prepared doing what, Jim?” McCoy asked, looking between the Spocks and Kirks. “What are y’all talking about?”

Kirk turned to address McCoy. “I-have-to-have-sex-with-Spock.” It was spoken in one quick breath as if it would be less of a shock all slurred together.

“Dear God, Jim!” McCoy moaned, touching his chest. “Don’t spring that on a person!”

“And I’m… the one on the bottom.”

McCoy paled and looked around. “We’re outside, Jim… Don’t say stuff like that out in the open where everyone can hear you!”

“Who will hear me? Everyone present knows.”

“Well I didn’t want to hear you!”

“You’re my doctor. I need you to help to prepare me.”

“Stop talking! I honest to God don’t want to hear it!”

“How are your symptoms?” Elder Spock asked his counterpart.

“I find it somewhat easy to control.” Spock admitted. 

“It is easier to control when you are fully mated.” The Elder’s observation seemed to bother him a bit. “We will prepare for the ceremony. I will take Jim to my house. You may go to our father. Jim and I will stand in as family for your Jim. McCoy and Uhura…”

“Of course I’ll have to go with Jim, won’t I?” McCoy growled.

“I’ll go with Spock.” Uhura stood next to her boyfriend.

“Until then…”

^.~

Kirk was grateful for the robe that insulated his skin from the hot sand beneath him. Of course he could do without the bells and drums… also the audience. Looking back at the gathering of family and friends he tried not to think about how exposed he was with Spock rutting away above him. At least his ass didn’t hurt…

McCoy had done a thorough job in prepping him for the ceremony although he complained the entire time. “Damnit Jim, I’m not your proctologist!”

“Actually… you are.” Kirk reminded him. 

“But my job isn’t to open you up to take Spock’s little Spock!”

Elsewhere in the room Admiral Kirk chuckled softly at their exchange. 

“No one asked you!” Kirk growled as he took deep breaths to relax himself with Bones’ probing. 

“You should… I have mated with a Vulcan. I’m in a unique position to provide you with information.”

“Such as?” McCoy asked, adding another finger.

“Vulcans self lubricate.” The Elder Kirk grinned. 

“Well isn’t that wonderful, Jim? Spock will slip right in so I can take my fingers out of you now.” McCoy pulled away and washed his hands thoroughly.

Kirk pulled back up his trousers, nervousness beginning to settle in the pit of his stomach.

The ceremony had been quick. There were a lot of Vulcan words and some gong ringing. Next thing Kirk knew he was on his back on the ground with Spock atop him. His counterpart had been right about the self lubrication. The Vulcan had been plowing away for at least five minutes… was that normal? It wasn’t in the mind meld memories to take so long. Kirk focused on those who attended… they didn’t actually watch, all had their backs turned to give the two some privacy. Spock grunted and Kirk shifted his attention to the Vulcan above him.

“Focus!” Spock hissed the last S sound, his own control long gone.

“On what?” Kirk asked.

Spock’s hand reached for Kirk’s psi points and in a flash they were together. “You must focus!” 

Kirk crossed his arms over his chest. It seemed they were back in the dark space with the overhead light shining down on them. “How am I supposed to focus?”

“You are supposed to help me through this!”

“So you can divorce me when it is done?” Kirk frowned.

“This is why we are not connecting. Your feelings about breaking the bond…”

“I’m about to be abandoned… again! Forgive me for not getting in the mood…” Kirk grumbled, tapping at the physical representation of the bond that existed in their mind space. “When are you going to be done with me?”

“Jim…” Spock sighed, frowning a little. “Please do not make these moments difficult.”

“It’s not fair, Spock… I love you. I would do anything for you… I’m fucking you on burning sand because I would do anything for you… and yet… you can’t be mine. After you finish with me that healer is going to break us apart. What will we have?” 

“We will still be T’hy’la.”

“I wish… I never knew what T’hy’la was!” Kirk pulled away and turned around to stare into the darkness in their minds. Somewhere out there all his insecurities lurked. For a moment he could almost hear Gary whisper the word ‘Whore.’ “Yes… I’m a whore… I sell myself. They don’t really want me… just the pleasure my body gives them. They never wanted me… you don’t…” Kirks words broke and he crouched on the insubstantial ground of their mind space.

“That is unfair!” Spock replied in annoyance. “I am not treating you as a prostitute. I am grateful for the assistance you are providing me. You are my T’hy’la… the other half of my katra!”

“Am I?” Kirk looked back over his shoulder at the alien. “What does that even mean? I’ve spent almost my entire life with no one giving a damn about me.”

“It means we will never truly be alone.”

“Until one of us dies!” Kirk shot back.

“You are human. Your lifespan is shorter than my own and yet… and yet I welcome this connection. I know it will mean pain and madness when you die… I have experienced a small portion of that when you died. Jim…”

Kirk sighed and glanced back over his shoulder at his Vulcan.

“I will not let you be alone. I am with you. Reach out to me.”

“I’ll have to let you go! I don’t… I can’t… I don’t want to know how good it can be!” Tears flowed freely down Kirk’s cheeks as he bowed his head. “I don’t want to know what I’m missing…”

Spock knelt behind his captain and T’hy’la, placing his hands on Kirk’s hips. “There is only now.”

The whole room seemed to go still even though it was already empty of everything except the light from above. But there was a sensation that time had stopped. Kirk looked back over his shoulder. Spock leaned forward and kissed the side of Kirk’s lips. 

All at once they were standing before each other dressed in some sort of ancient armor. Around them Vulcan warriors fought and died. 

Spock’s eyes went wide as he changed his grip on his weapon, staring at a Vulcan version of James Kirk. “T’hy’la?” 

Kirk dropped his weapon and wrapped his arms around Spock, kissing him hungrily and ignoring the sounds of battle. 

Spock pushed the other Vulcan to the blood stained ground, uncaring of the slaughter going on around them… too intent on finding a way under a leather loincloth so he could become one with the male underneath him. Pushing in he cried out and immediately felt something connect and flare at the back of his mind even as his body fought to find completion.

And then it was like they were standing outside of themselves, side by side watching a pair of Vulcan warriors mate at their feet.

“This is one of the moments we met.” Spock stated, watching himself in a past life claim the one beneath him.

“What do you mean?” Kirk asked, watching the animalistic fucking at their feet, unable to look away. “Why am I Vulcan?”

“This is one of the instances our split katra came back together. If they are eternal then we have met many times before and since this meeting we are currently witnessing.”

There was a flurry of images… many different versions of James Kirk and Spock reconnecting in each lifetime appeared around them, filling the empty space… but the light remained on them. 

“Fascinating…” Spock breathed as he watched a collared Vulcan blink up at his human captor for the first time, opening his legs for his master to claim him. 

“That can’t be our timeline.” Kirk stated, watching the Vulcan arch his back with first penetration.

“No… some of these are from other universes. My counterpart said that we are a universal constant. This may be an alternate…” Breaking off the Vulcan became fascinated by the mechanics involved in a human male claiming a Vulcan male. “Fascinating…”

“I thought you said no one can own a Vulcan.” Kirk mused.

“That does not appear to be the case in their timeline.” Spock answered. 

Another James Kirk and Spock appeared. The human wore a t-shirt that read “Go climb a rock” and appeared to be leaning against something as he stared up at his Spock, eyes glittering with mischief.

“You could have died.” The Spock admonished his Kirk.

“But I didn’t… you were there.”

“That is unacceptable.”

“Come closer…” Kirk breathed.

“McCoy will find us…”

“Let him find us.” Kirk grinned as he wrapped his arms around Spock’s neck and pulled him down into a kiss. “I’m tired of hiding our relationship from others.”

“Ashayam…” Spock began with a put upon sigh.

“You better hope he doesn’t come looking for us to see if we fell in the river.” Impishly the Kirk began to undress his Spock enough to make love to him.

“Those are our counterparts.” 

Kirk pulled himself away from the sensations the vision gave him to look to his own Spock who had spoken. “What?”

“That is the admiral and the ambassador… when they were younger.” 

The younger ambassador pushed himself into his human mate. “Oh… Jim…”

Kirk frowned and looked away, feeling for the first time that he was invading on something private. 

Another Kirk and Spock appeared before them. Kirk was lying on his back, wearing an open robe as he stared off into space. Spock had them in a meld as he rutted away between his legs. 

“They are us.” Spock stated, watching himself move. “This is what the outside world sees while we are melded together.”

“I don’t look too thrilled about it.” Kirk glanced around at the other Kirks, most of them happy to be in the arms of their T’hy’la. His own reaction was a marked difference. 

Spock stepped up behind him, resting his chin on the human’s shoulder. “You are correct. Let go of your pain and share this with me.”

Kirk turned around and wrapped his arms around Spock, holding him close, weeping into the alien’s shoulder. “Please…” Really he didn’t know what he was pleading for… to be held? To be cherished? To have more than just this one experience? “Please, Spock.”

“Ashayam…” Spock whispered running his fingers through Kirk’s hair. 

Their bond blazed and burned, absorbing the energy of all the other Spocks and Kirks so only two remained. 

“Kiss me.” Kirk begged.

Spock obeyed.

In an instant they were back inside of their bodies as Spock’s orgasm overwhelmed him. Kirk clung to the alien above him, feeling himself pulse between them.

Spock pulled his hand away from Kirk’s face and rested above his mate.

Instantly the couple was surrounded by family and friends as they were cleaned up and redressed. “Where are we going?” Kirk asked an exhausted looking Spock.

“Indoors… I have a few minutes before my next wave.” Spock looked like he was about to pass out. “Did I injure you?”

“No… I’m good.” Kirk replied as they arrived at Spock’s father’s house. The couple was sent up to a bedroom and the door shut before the families and friends mingled downstairs in a festive mood. 

Spock opened his robe and lay naked on the bed. Reaching out his hand he called to his mate. “Jim…”

Kirk took off his robe and straddled his Vulcan, staring down at the vulnerable alien below him. Shifting his seat a bit he sat back down on Spock’s cock, taking all of it inside. 

Spock’s eyes rolled back into his head as he sat up to wrap his arms around Kirk’s back, pulling him down against him. 

Kirk watched as Spock was reduced to a mindless rutting animal, filling him over and over as the day passed. 

Near night Elder Spock brought Kirk food and drink as Spock rested between waves. “How are you feeling?”

“My butt hurts.”

“I will send McCoy in with more lubrication for you. Spock’s body isn’t used to mating. There will be more oil next time.”

“If there even is a next time…” Kirk sighed and took a sip of water.

“I grieve with you.”

“With the meld I saw a lot of Spocks and Kirks.”

That seemed to amuse the old Vulcan and he smiled. 

“I saw you and your mate… he was wearing a rock t-shirt?”

“That was our trip to Yosemite. He nearly died by falling off a mountain.” 

“I want that.”

The old Vulcan placed a hand on Kirk’s bare shoulder. “There is a possibility that your bond is too strong to break. If that is so then you will remain married to my counterpart.”

At that moment Spock stirred, blinking open his still feverish eyes and seeing his counterpart next to his human. “Jim…” Spock reached out for his mate. 

“Duty calls…” Kirk glanced back at the old Vulcan before he was rolled onto his back with Spock between his thighs.

Ambassador Spock left the food and drink for Kirk’s next rest period and went to inform McCoy of the need for his services.

^.~

Kirk woke sore, warm and still exhausted. It felt like he had woken from a fever. There was light outside the heavily shaded window. Rolling over he came face to face with Spock staring back at him. The Vulcan’s eyes were clear and intelligent, gone was the feverish rutting animal that had replaced him these past two days. “Morning…” Kirk greeted.

Spock gave a slow blink in response before leaning forward to kiss Kirk’s lips. “Thank you, T’hy’la…” The whisper was soft and seemed to come from inside their minds.

“It’s the least I could do.” Kirk replied. 

Spock’s hand lightly traced a line from Kirk’s sternum down to his genitals, cupping them in his cool hand. They seemed to like that and gave a twitch of interest before engorging in Spock’s palm. 

“Isn’t your Time over?” Kirk asked quietly, biting his lip.

Spock silenced him with a gentle kiss and a quick squeeze. His kisses explored Kirk’s collar bone, nibbling and sucking small bruises into the skin.

“Fuck, Spock…” Kirk whimpered as Spock got him hard. “What are you doing?”

Raising his head to look Kirk in the eye, he raised an eyebrow as if to suggest it was obvious what he was doing.

“Ok… why?”

A small smile caught on the edge of Spock’s lips as he leaned down to kiss again, tasting Kirk’s lower lip. With some effort he managed to roll over and pulled the human on top of him between his thighs.

Kirk blinked down at what position he found himself in. “You can’t… We can’t…”

Spock raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do you really want me to?”

In answer Spock wrapped a leg around Kirk’s hips, pulling him closer. 

Reaching down Kirk fumbled with erection until he found Spock’s opening. Without even thinking about how or why it was ready to receive him he pushed in and gave out a soft grunt. 

Spock shut his eyes and wrapped his legs tighter around Kirk, pulling him deeper with each thrust the human made. 

“Say something…” Kirk begged, suddenly very much aware that Spock had not spoken since they first woke up. 

“More.” Spock grunted, his voice low and gravelly as his counterpart. “Give me more.”

Kirk obeyed, snapping his hips in a way that women in his past had enjoyed. The cooler body was different but not the strangest he encountered in his years of experience. “Like this?”

“Yes.” Spock raised his hand and fit his fingertips into a meld.

The room went bright white as Kirk felt his testicles throb with the intensity of his orgasm. For a long time there was nothing but pulsing and Spock in a world of nothingness. “Shit…”

“Indeed.” Spock pulled his hand away and brought them back to the guest bedroom of his father’s house. 

Kirk didn’t pull out just yet. Bonelessly he collapsed atop his mate, resting his cheek against the Vulcan’s chest. “We have to go face the others…”

“They will understand.” Spock replied as if he didn’t have Kirk’s cock embedded inside of him, giving errant pulses of semen to fill his bowels.

“Will they?” Kirk finally gathered the energy to roll off of Spock and stared up at the ceiling.

“They are our friends, our family.”

“No offense Spock… but I’m pretty much an orphan.”

“You are incorrect on several counts.” Spock stated to the ceiling. “The relationship you have with McCoy is as a brother. You share the same DNA as your counterpart and…” Spock rolled onto his side to force Kirk to look at him. “You share a bond with my counterpart.”

Kirk smirked at Spock’s logic. “It’s not the same…”

“AND… We share a marriage bond.”

“A bond you mean to break.” Kirk reminded him. Sitting up he leaned down to pick up his discarded robe. “May I remind you that your girlfriend is also out there? A woman I admire… who is nuts about you and desperately hopes we get a divorce so she can marry you instead?” Kirk finished adjusting the robe so it covered his nakedness. “Am I decent? Nothing’s hanging out, right?” Quickly he did a turn to show off the robe.

“You will need to change.”

“I’m sure McCoy has my clothes.” Kirk went for the door. Pausing, he bit his lip. “If the healer can’t break us apart…”

Spock held his breath, staring at his T’hy’la with an unreadable look.

Kirk pondered how he would finish his sentence before shaking his head. “Am I a horrible person to hope that you’re stuck with me?” Before Spock could answer he opened the door and stepped outside. The household was quiet. It was still early enough in the morning that the others wouldn’t be around. Kirk sat on what he hoped was a chair and waited in silence.

Several minutes later a door opened and someone approached. That someone was Uhura. “Oh! You’re up. Does that mean Spock is up too?”

“Yeah… he’s in the bedroom…” Kirk bit his lips and stared down at his hands.

Uhura sat down a fair distance away from Kirk, staring at him.

“You’re making me nervous.” But at that moment his stomach growled rather loudly.

Uhura’s eyes went wide at the sound. “You haven’t eaten…” Hastily she got up and went into what had to be the kitchen, opening and shutting cupboards for a few minutes before returning with a tray. “Do you want to eat here or…”

Kirk shook his head. “I don’t know… where do Vulcans usually eat?”

“There is a table… but you’ll probably like the view outside.” Carrying the tray she headed in another direction. “This way.”

Kirk got up from the chair, realizing just how sore and tender his ass was after everything Spock did to it. Toddling after her he found himself on a covered porch with open views of the countryside. “Wow…”

Uhura set the tray on a table and adjusted a chair. “Do you need anything else?”

“Uhura… I’m sorry.”

“From what I understand it wasn’t actually your fault. Spock accidentally bonded with you when you were in a coma… not like you had any control over that.”

Kirk patted the spot beside him before eating some of the food, suddenly very hungry.

Uhura sat but didn’t relax.

Kirk swallowed what was in his mouth. Anything tasted good after two days of nonstop sex. “The Elder Spock doesn’t think it can be broken.” Kirk was aware that Uhura seemed to flinch at the news. “We’ll still try… What does he know? That Spock and Kirk are different people. They’ve had different lives… different experiences.” Kirk took a sip of water, thinking about how his own counterpart had been adored by many people in his life. “We’re not the same… our lives are very different. There’s no…”

“Jim…” Uhura’s voice was soft, breaking his thoughts and forcing him to look at her. “Your counterparts were very kind to explain it to me while we were waiting for…” Stopping her train of thought she shook her head. “It’s fate.”

“It may not be…” Kirk replied, taking another bite of food and chewing. 

“And if it is?”

“It’s not!” Kirk answered after he swallowed. “Not all Spocks and Kirks come together the same way. Some are slaves… some are warriors… I’m willing to bet there are more than a few who completely pass each other and don’t give it any thought. Spock and I could be one of those… we don’t know yet.” 

“Jim… he pulled your mind back from death!”

“Is it fate that my dad died? That mom left Sam and me with an abusive step father? Is that fate? My counterpart has had a golden life... has had everything handed to him. I had to eat people to survive Tarsus IV!” Kirk suddenly realized what he had just revealed and pushed away his breakfast. “Fate just gave me one week and a couple of days with the other half of my soul… and I know I’ll probably have to give him up.”

“Jim…”

“I didn’t sleep him with! That week back on the Enterprise after we found out about the bond… I wanted to… I really wanted to but I couldn’t. I kept thinking about you. One week of happiness was not worth your misery. But then his Time came and all that went out the window!” 

“Jim…”

“I could have lived without knowing. I could have blissfully lived without knowing what face he makes when he cums. Now it’s going to haunt me forever.”

Uhura placed a hand on Kirk’s, squeezing it. 

“And the whole time I was thinking about you… about how completely unfair it was for you. It should have been you. I had no right to be there.”

“I love him… and I know he has feelings for you. Jim… I saw what your death did to him. I was there. I saw the man I love become… someone else because he lost you.” Uhura threaded her fingers with Kirk’s. “Your life… what you had to go through… it’s made you stronger. I can’t imagine being so hungry that I’d… but it was a means of survival. You could have died there… and Spock never would have met you… never would have known you existed. And a piece of him would have been forever lost.” Scooting her chair closer she smiled at him. “You’re a good man… a decent man. I know you didn’t mean for this to happen… but it has. I know you didn’t set out to hurt me or steal Spock. It just… happened… because it was supposed to happen… if your alternates are correct.”

“We may be able to break this… the idea both is a relief and terrifying. I just wish… I didn’t know… If we can break this then I wish I could forget.”

“Why?”

Kirk shook his head. “Would you want that one perfect moment to haunt you for the rest of your life?”

“I would hold onto it.”

“But then there would always be regret and bitterness.”

“There can be other moments of happiness.”

“Not in my experience.”

“Then you need new experiences.”

Kirk frowned and rubbed his forehead.

“If this can’t be broken… then know I don’t blame you.”

“I made love to Spock.”

“I… I don’t understand… isn’t that what happens in Pon Farr?”

“No… I mean… outside of Pon Farr. When we woke up this morning he was… fine. I could have resisted… pulled away… but I didn’t. I took him… and I’m sorry. You say it’s not my fault… but…” 

“Did you hurt him?”

“No! Of course not! I think in a way he was trying to make it up to me… I mean he spent the past couple of days using my body… I didn’t get much out of it until this morning.” Kirk couldn’t meet Uhura’s eyes. “I should have been stronger for your sake… I’m sorry.”

Uhura sighed and clasped her hands together. “That’s a little more information than I ever wanted to know. But I want you to understand… I love Spock and I know you love him too. All I want is for him to be happy. If this can’t be broken… I won’t stand in the way. All I ask is that you take care of him. He’s lost so much… he needs this. He needs to be loved. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Kirk breathed.

^.~

The healer pulled his hand away from the newly bonded. “The connection is too strong. Breaking a bond this strong will most likely cause death to one or both of them.”

Kirk bowed his head and bit his lip, glancing at where Uhura stood a short distance away.

“We appreciate your assistance in this matter.” Elder Spock stated formally and escorted the healer to the front door.

“Rotten luck, kid…” McCoy whispered to his friend. But Vulcan ears were sensitive. A flicker of pain crossed Spock’s face upon hearing McCoy’s careless words.

“Why is it rotten luck?” Uhura demanded. Being a communications expert her hearing was almost as good as a Vulcan. 

McCoy defiantly crossed his arms over his chest and stared back at the lieutenant. “And you suppose it’s GOOD luck to find yourself permanently connected to a man who is in an emotional relationship with someone else?”

“Stop, Bones…” Kirk whispered, but his friend didn’t hear him.

“It is still an insensitive thing to say!” Uhura insisted. 

“Are you denying there’s anything messed up with the situation?” McCoy demanded.

“Of course not! But it implies that a relationship with Spock is less than desirable!” 

“Spock is dating YOU!” McCoy replied. “My friend is stuck in a relationship where he finds himself cuckold…”

“Stop it, you two!” Kirk found his commanding voice. “That’s an order!” The captain seemed to melt away to reveal the vulnerable young man beneath. “Just… stop…” His eyes flashed to the Vulcan for a moment before looking away and bowing his head. 

Admiral Kirk and Ambassador Spock joined the group, looking around at the upset faces. “What’s wrong?” Admiral Kirk asked.

“Jim is stuck in a loveless marriage.” McCoy answered.

“Bones!” Kirk admonished.

“No, I’m sorry… But it’s the truth!” McCoy turned to the elder counterparts of his captain and commander. “It’s just not fair. I don’t know how you two got together in your lifetime, but look at them!” Vaguely Bones indicated the men beside him. “This one is dating someone else… and this one…” The doctor waved at Kirk. “Needs that drama like he needs a hole in the head! Is this REALLY supposed to happen? Is there any other way to break this? I’m concerned about Jim’s mental health… I’ve been in a loveless marriage and I know what it can do to a man. This can’t be healthy.”

During McCoy’s rant Elder Spock stared at his counterpart, reading his emotions. When the doctor paused for breath he shook his head. “You are mistaken, Doctor.”

“What do you mean, I’m mistaken?” McCoy demanded.

The elder shook his head. “It is not my place to say.”

“Then why the hell would you…” McCoy started.

Spock cut him off. “Perhaps it would be beneficial for me and the captain to speak in private.”

“Like you haven’t been stuck in private for the past two days.”

“The activities during those two days did not require speaking.” Spock replied. 

“Please don’t remind me!” McCoy groaned.

Within a few moments Kirk found himself in Ambassador Spock’s office, sitting on the only chair in the room as Spock stood beside him.

“Please explain cuckold.”

“What?” Kirk looked up at Spock a moment to assess his seriousness before giving his attention to the table. “It’s… when a wife is having an affair behind her husband’s back… the husband is said to be ‘cuckold.’ It’s old Earth slang.”

“Do you believe I will have an affair behind your back?”

“I wouldn’t hold it against you if you did. You didn’t ask to be stuck with me. In fact once you found out we were stuck together you wanted to break us apart. I know my place.”

“Do you believe this marriage will be loveless?”

Kirk turned to look at his T’hy’la… really look at him. Memories of their shared dreams… Spock’s reaction to his death… The feelings they shared the morning after Plak Tow was purged. “No…”

Spock gracefully knelt beside Kirk’s chair to look him in the eye. “We are married, T’hy’la… I will not be unfaithful to you.”

“What about Uhura?”

“Uhura will respect our bonding.”

“I know she will… she told me she will. But I still feel really bad for her.”

Spock mutely nodded his agreement.

“I’m sorry you are stuck with me.”

Spock leaned in and kissed Kirk’s lips. 

Kirk gave a small sob against Spock’s lips before wrapping his arms around the Vulcan’s neck to pull him deeper into the kiss. 

Spock gave a small chaste kiss and pulled back a bit to look into his T’hy’la’s eyes. “I am not sorry. Universal constant…”

Kirk softly chuckled and hugged his Vulcan tightly. “I don’t deserve you… I’ve done so many questionable things in my lifetime.”

“You survived, Ashayam. And now we will survive together.”

“I’ve fucked people for money…”

“I know. I have seen Gary in our melds.”

“I’ve eaten people when I was starving…”

Spock shivered at the intensity of Kirk’s pain. Pulling back, he wiped Kirk’s tears away with his thumbs. “You survived.” Spock kissed his husband’s lips. “I will make sure you eat enough so you are never put in that position again.”

Kirk chuckled softly, imagining Spock setting various Vulcan dishes before him. “That’s a bit domestic, Spock.”

“That well may be… But I will gladly go without knowing you are provided for.”

Kirk wrapped his arms around the cool skinned alien and held him tight. “Don’t let me go.”

“Never again, Ashayam.”

^.~

Their lovemaking was slow and tender. Kirk found himself on his back in the bunk with Spock between his legs. Memories of what happened during Pon Farr were still fresh in their minds but Spock out of Plak Tow was different than Spock in Plak Tow. 

“You know… I don’t mind being a little rough…” Kirk commented as Spock lazily thrust into his Ashayam. 

Spock smirked and allowed one quick, deep thrust before resuming his slower pace. 

“I mean… you were more aggressive during your Pon Farr.”

“I lacked control during my Pon Farr.” Spock replied. 

“I like it when you lose control.”

“Do not taunt me, T’hy’la… I can cause serious damage to you.”

“And I am no blushing virgin.” Kirk wrapped his legs around Spock’s waist, using his lower legs to pull the Vulcan in deeper.

“I have three times your strength…”

“Did it ever occur to you that I might be your equal in bed? Did any of our alternate selves ever hold back?” They both knew from the bonding meld that none of their counterparts ever had any trouble sexually. 

The Vulcan arched his back, pushing in deeper and finally giving his own needs the attention they needed in order to finish.

“That’s it, Spock… like that…” Kirk offered commentary on the alien’s movements. “Like you want me…”

Spock grunted softly in response, focusing on the way their bodies fit together, the deep heat of the human beneath him, the warm appendages holding him. 

“Do you… want me?” Kirk’s insecurity raised its ugly head.

“Of course, T’hy’la…”

“How much?”

Spock silenced the human with his lips, concentrating on the movements. 

Kirk chuckled softly as his Vulcan pulled away enough to give some powerful thrusts. “Ok… that much.” 

Spock frowned and reached down to squeeze the human’s penis. 

“Ah!” Kirk cried out and began to move under Spock and meet his thrusts. His hands wrapped around Spock’s to help him get the rhythm he liked. “Good… so good…” Rolling his head back he muttered nonsense as his balls tightened up and doused the Vulcan’s fist. 

Spock took that as a cue to allow his own release which he did. Promptly he rested over Kirk, not fully atop him knowing his denser weight could crush his mate. 

“You don’t talk much…”

“I do not understand your need to converse during coitus.” Spock admitted.

“It’s good to know what the other is feeling, don’t you think?”

Spock pulled out and assessed his own penis. It did not go soft as a human’s organ, but he did have to clean it before it retracted into his body. “It is… distracting.”

“Even for a Vulcan?”

“You seem unsure as to my need for you.”

“Well… there’s that…”

Spock took the washcloth that had been set aside for cleaning before their lovemaking. “You are my mate… my T’hy’la… why are you still unsure?”

“A man likes to know he’s needed.” Kirk smiled and tapped his bare feet on the bed, unmindful that his ass was leaking Vulcan ejaculate all over the sheets.

“Jim… I have deep affection for you.”

“Hmm… you’re getting warmer.” Kirk sat up and casually wrapped his arms around his Vulcan.

“What is it you require?”

“Vulcan love poetry might be nice.” Kirk grinned impishly.

Spock shook his head as the tips of his ears turned green. “I do not know anything appropriate…”

“Then make something up.” Kirk replied, resting his head on Spock’s shoulder. “Please?”

Spock looked away and seemed to find inner focus for a long moment. Finally after several long moments he regained composure. “I am yours. You are mine. Together we are one.” 

Kirk broke into a warm smile and practically crawled into Spock’s lap to hug him. Too quickly he noticed a dumbfounded look on Spock’s face. “What is it?”

“It seems your counterpart was correct… James Kirk loves the Enterprise and Vulcan Love Poetry…”

Kirk let out an easy laugh, pushing his husband onto the bed to mate with him again.

\--Fini

**Author's Note:**

> According to Word's word count this is 15,862 words. This monster was started one month ago today.


End file.
